stir crazy

I don't know what it is, maybe its the cold weather and staying in doors or maybe its the fact that I feel very overwhelmed with all of the things I need to do and the lack of time I have to do them. Maybe it is just my feeling of needing to get out of the city. What ever it is I have this overwhelming feeling that I just need to GET OUT!! What do I need to get out of though?
Y and I have been discussing moving, I want to feel more settled have something that feels more permanent and more like "ours". Buying isn't really an option right now, but at least we want to try and find a place we like, a place to settle.
Part of all of this could be that our landlord has told us that he wants to sell, and so I now know there is an expiration on our apartment. I really love this apartment, but there are many things I don't like about it and now that I know we will need to move at some point they are all intensified.
Also probably the fact that I still don't feel like I accomplish anything. I know that isn't true, but I just wish I could accomplish more than I do each day. But well this is being a mother I guess, and well I guess I just still need to work on figuring out a routine. If only CNY would stick with a routine HA! Last night he went to bed a little later than usual but then woke up at 6:40am wanting to play, so as Dr. Sears says just roll over and play dead and he will eventually get bored and go back to sleep and well it so far has worked the few times we have tried that. But then after being up for a while and going back to sleep he slept until 11:30am! You would think that this would be amazing, but well then I never know when he is going to wake up and when he will want to nap and when he will actually go to sleep at night. hump... the unpredictability of babies! I love this little boy, sure keeps me on my toes.
SO back to how this all started, I have all of these projects I want to work on and I don't seem to ever complete them or even start them or I start and they just don't seem to be coming out the way I want them to. Maybe one day I will be a "SUPER MOM" like the ones you see on TV or in the movies that always have cute clean put together outfits with their hair done all up and their inchipped nail polish, and perfectly cleaned houses with everything in its spot and the kids always seems happy and content! Is this unrealistic portrayal of mothers whats getting me down and feeling like I am in a rut, is is the lack of permanence, is it the feeling that I just don't want to be an adult, am I an adult!!!??? What?!?!?! When did that happen?!?!
Ok back to the little many scooting around on the unswept and unwashed floor pulling everything off the coffee table!